Since I've been at school, I occasionally hit up Zumba: "Latin American dancing workouts" according to my zumba-loving friends Callie Neal. So naturally, I fit right in with my vast dance background AND exceptional coordination. I fit in just about as much as Phoebe from fits in in this scene from Friends...
My ability to follow rhythm, choreography, just have any coordination really has always been limited.
Once upon a time a young 5th grade Sarah decided to re-enter the world of ballet. (I say re-enter because like most little girls, I was in ballet and tap at the age of 4 or 5, so this wasn't totally new)... I was slightly larger and a lot less dainty than these ballerinas that filled the room around me, my sister was one of them. (Yes, I was bigger than my sister until she went to college...) So I tried to keep up with their fancy frenchly named dance moves, more so I tried to blend in so as not to completely reveal I was clueless as to what was going on. The recital drew near and someone had the wild idea to send me out on stage first, along with another girl-much much smaller than me-adjacent from me. We ran toward each other, met in the middle, and split back away from one another. It was just a simple prance, no legit dance moves-or if there were I opted out of doing them. I had this. My only time I was visible apart from the pack, and by pack I mean ballerinas.
The night came for us to preform. I was getting myself ready for my lone task in the production: Lead the girls on stage with gracefulness and poise. The curtain opened, I, along with the girl across from me, began to prance on stage. We met in the middle. She went to turn out. I did not. I kept prancing right on into her. Poor thing didn't stand a chance, she was so small. I knocked her right down to her knees. I continued prancing, which turned into more of a run to flee the scene.
I never went back to ballet.
Junior. Miss. Fitness. Routine: THE most ridiculous I've ever looked in front of a large group of people. The fitness routine involved all of the following: 9 minutes of constant movement-coordinated movement at that, hula hoops as props, doing a back roll through said hula hoop-I failed miserably, an individual section near the end of the routine-I was near passing out at this point, posing at the end as if I hadn't just nearly kicked the bucket.
I appeared: Uncoordinated. Dying.
So we're back at Zumba. I'm bouncing around, several beats behind the group, arms flailing whenever they weren't supposed to, all around struggling. But I will say, I'm sore. So while I may not have been doing whatever everyone else was doing, I was doing something effective!
Peace and Love.